Some questions I have for God....

I have been preparing a mental list in my head since I became a true follower of Christ to ask him when I finally stand before him some day.... I am adding another question to my list today.

Why does tragedy always hit the hardest around the holidays? Around Christmas to be exact. It was the day he was born, so you would think, logically, that the best things in your life would happen around December 25th, every single year. So why is it the exact opposite?

I got a call from my first real boyfriend tonight telling me that his grandma had a heart attack on Wednesday and didn't make it. She was in incredible lady that dealt with lots of illness for as long as I knew her. But she was a true fighter and always there when anyone needed her. The rock of her family. And now she's gone and I am so sad for that family. I know what it's like to lose a family member during the holidays....seems like just last year that it was my Aunt Cathy. I'm sure he has a very good reason, but I can't wait to hear it.

Another question.....
Why do children have to suffer?
Innocent little babies.... why? Why don't they get a chance?

Why is it that the women that don't need or want children have 10.... but the families that want children more than life itself.... can't have them?

I have several more but I think I will keep those between myself and my God.

I just needed to vent. I hurt for those that hurt and today I am sad.

Couple Pictures

My Christmas tree with all the presents underneath!

Here is my at Joe's Crab Shack last Sunday... YUM!
This is the one we sent with the Christmas cards.... aren't we just precious?

I thought my face looked too fat in this one... weird

This was my practice pic because we used the self timer on the camera.... this is normal activity for those 2.......

Christmas Time!!!!

Today is a Friday and the first one I have had off since I started working here. I haven't done much because I feel like crap. My head feels like it weighs 100 pounds and I am feeling low on energy. I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GET SICK. So, it's just allergies....right? Isn't it interesting that even if you blow your nose 10 times in a row, you still have a nose full of snot? Weird.

I did get out and go to lunch with Jaci ( the one that helped me cook Thanksgiving...). She's moving from Georgia back home to Osh Kosh, Wisconsin (or Minnesota....I get the 2 confused). But she stopped thru here today to pick up her boyfriend, Kyle, to take with her. So we went and ate Mexican for lunch. I'm gonna miss her....she's the closest thing I have had to a real friend since I have been here. It's interesting that I am working 2 jobs and I have met a bunch of people.... but no one "friend worthy" yet. They're all pretty cool to hang with and talk to at work, but no one to hang out with still. Probably resulting in my irritation with the no space I'm getting.

Anyway... things are moving right along around here. Today is the husband's last day of work until January 5th. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Actually, I do know. I'm not real happy about it and I feel like a selfish brat for feeling that way. When he is home.... he wants to spend every waking ( and sleeping ) moment with me. Shouldn't I want that? Aren't there a million wives out there that crave that kind of attention from their husbands? I work and I come home. So when I'm home is the only time I'm not working. So sometimes (well, most of the time) I like to just hang out, by myself, and do whatever. He waits up for me every night (even when he has formation at 5:45 in the morning, and then misses it because he refuses to go to bed without me....and I need time to unwind...like this morning).......... When I wake up, he's awake...bright eyed and bushy tailed. When he finally leaves for work, it's time for me to get ready and go to work. So, as a result, I'm not very nice to him. I ask for space and he gets mad. I don't and he gets mad. Is it wrong to just wish that he had a hobby so I could miss him a little and be excited when he is around me??? I should be thankful for this time because this time next year, I may not have him around.... How can I change the way I feel about this? I know it hurts his feelings because he is EXTREMELY lovey dovey.........and I am just about as extreme the other side as you can get........... Poor guy....I just don't know what to do. I'm not getting enough time for myself.... but in his eyes, he thinks I get all the time in the world.

Anyway... Christmas is in a few days, and I'm ready. Then New Years and I will be working. And then I am taking a very much needed trip home for about 10 days. Maybe after that I will be rejuvenated and feel better??!!!

Since I started this, I have felt increasingly more sick....... my eyeballs hurt now........ wonderful!

Look at ALL THOSE PRESENTS!!!!

I am so proud of myself...I had a very good day yesterday... accomplished!!!!

I got up early, cleaned my house, took Tony's dry cleaning to the cleaners, did his Christmas shopping, did our grocery shopping, came home and wrapped all his presents ( the green and red stripes you see, is duct tape!!! hahahha...I'm worried he'll snoop so I took Mom's advice for extra precaution!!!), and got ready for work, went to work, waited on a party of 70, made $150, and got up at 8:30 this morning to be at work by 10, oh and I also packed a lunch!!.............and I'm actually not tired! That's pretty awesome for me!!

But I do have to cut this short or I will be late for work!....Just wanted u to see my presents... Aunt C, you'll have to talk to me or mom to find out what the presents are...you'll crack up.... I cant post on here...cuz of Mr. Snoop!

No time for me............

I am adjusting to everything here. I think I about have it all figured out. Everything except for time for myself. All by myself. I thought that only happened when you had children. I have a husband and I dog...that's it. I also have 2 jobs. So I can see how that would make it a little hard. But when not at work, I am home and so is the rest of my family. Sometimes I just want to sit and play on the computer or watch what I want to watch on the tv or do what I wanna do.... but I get about 3 whole hours a week to spend with myself. It seems very unfair. Especially after being told that I don't do anything. We really need to work on the whole appreciating each other thing.....

So now, I have about 3 hours (my one-week limit) to myself because the husband has people wanting to look at the truck we have for sale....... So I have this time to do what I want. And Im trying to spend it as wisely as possible............. I need to do some Christmas shopping for Tony, I need to write and send out some Christmas cards, I could fold some laundry, I could straighten up what needs it, .....................I could do a lot of things.... but what I really want to do right now is................................. NOTHING AT ALL!

So that's what I'm gonna do. I will make today my day to myself (well, I have to be at work at 5 so for the next 3 and a half hours...), and get busy on the rest of the stuff by tomorrow! What a superb idea I have! ha

Going to attempt at an update......

Jessica informed me today that she hasn't received an update because she hasn't had her phone for a while and I haven't written here in a little while. I truly have been busy. Had lots going on and when I didn't have a lot going on I have been trying to spend time with the husband. I try not to write when he is around.... but I'm breaking that rule tonight.... So here we go.

Everything has been going pretty good around here. Work has been keeping me busy and I am finally starting to get it all in good order. I like it. Annabell has been doing very good on potty training. Been pretty routine around here.

Of course my eyes would be closed.... but here is Annabell loving on her mommy!!!!

Here is Annabell and her daddy looking all sweet together!!!!

Here she is getting all clean and fresh smelling. She doesn't like the bath so much but she deals!

Here she is helping me do laundry. Every time I do a load she is in the basket helping. She loves the warm clothes and the dryer sheets. She's so cute! The reason I am still sane! Such a good idea mom!!!

Here she is just being silly! HAHAHAHAHAHA...............remember how I told you that I accidentally gave Tony a black eye??? Well, here he is trying to keep it from swelling up! Little did I know at that time that he might be deserving it!!! hahah

This was the day after. It actually looked pretty bad about day 3. Was all swollen up top and black and blue all the way around. Now it's about a green and yellow color. hehe

Here is my BEAUTIFUL arrangement that I got from mom for Thanksgiving!!!! Turkey day would not have been successful without her! She e-mailed me step by step directions on how to do everything and it all turned out wonderfully!!!!!! I had about 7 people and the day went great! Unfortunately I don't have any pictures because my husband MIGHT have left my camera at his friends house the night before...........grrrrrrrrrrrr............. But the flowers made the table look lovely! They still look very pretty! And smell good too!!!

And here is a picture of me in my winter gear. No, I'm not getting fat.... it's the angle of the camera......... and my eye make up looks terrible.... but whatever..... here I am.

Here is my WONDERFUL Christmas tree that my elf sent me!!! Husband and I were able to find some really cheap decorations the day after Thanksgiving so we got to decorate it and we LOVE it!!! It looks soooo good! I am really really pleased with how it turned out!!!! Annabell likes it too.... but we're trying to teach her not to!!! lol

Here are our stockings hanging above the fireplace.... notice that the dog has the biggest one!!! What the crap is that??? And I don't even really like ours but the PX didn't have much to offer. We went to Wal Mart yesterday and found some that were awesome.... but they'll have to wait for next year! Mine just better be stocked over full!!! Hint Hint!!!! =)

Okay, let me explain. I put this one up on Sunday night when I was pretty upset about some stuff. So it was very hastily done! Its a little 2 ft fiber optic tree and looks really good in the dark.... but not so good in this picture! I have made some adjustments since this picture was made.... but I like it still!!!!

OKay, that's all I have for you. Hopefully this blog will make up for my lack of blogging lately! I work everyday this week and a double on Saturday so I will be super busy this week as well! Just goin through the motions. Hope everyone is having a happy holiday season.......... I am going to try and send Christmas cards out this weekend sometime.... but seeing as how I STILL haven't done my thank you cards from my shower.....let's just see how well that goes!!!!! ha