Better Humor Today...

So after I wrote that blog last night my head hurt so bad I could barely see. So I put the dog up and took half a xanex (no, I'm not a pill popper by any means, but that little half a pill is a wonder drug, it pulls the stress right out of you so you can just relax until you can pull your thoughts together...) and then went to bed. Before 9.

Woke up today at about 7 and went to the store and got a paper. Yesterday, I was not prepared to get a job by today. Yesterday, I was not willing to go wait tables or bartend again. Yesterday, I was going to wait until after Christmas and find what I wanted to do. But yesterday, I found out that I need to set all those thoughts aside, and get a job quickly. For my family. So I sucked it up and came up with a plan this morning.

Since the day I got out of high school I have pretty much worked 2 jobs at once or had one that took about 60 hours per week of my time. So basically for the past 5 years I have worked about 60 hours a week. Sometimes it was that much to support myself and sometimes it was that much because I just really like to work. I like to be responsible, I like to lead, I like to feel needed. And I like making money. There was a period of time where I worked at a daycare from 6am to 3pm, the Country Club from 4pm to 10pm, and a bar from 11pm to 3am.........all at the same time. I have no doubt in my ability to earn my own money and make my own living. It isn't a matter of "can I do it?", it's a matter of "will I do it?"

The main reason for not wanting to work until after Christmas was so we could visit our families during the holidays. Because Tony's money could support us. And so I could have a break from work and actually do what I wanted to do. But our current financial situation will only allow for our bills to be paid. And instead of looking at the as a negative, I need to be grateful that my husband can support our bills and we don't have to get rid of our cable or internet. So basically, I need to chip in and make enough for gas and food and extra.

So today I got in my car and I went. My objective was to go to as many restaurants and bars as I could find and put in as many applications as I needed to. First stop: Logans. Filled out the app and have an interview tomorrow at 11:15. Second stop: The Big Apple- filled out the app and had an interview while I was there and should hear back by the end of the week. And at 4 I have an interview at Skip's for a bartending spot. I went to a few other places but they either weren't open until later or weren't even giving out applications. So I have 3 choices as of now. If I don't hear anything positive by the end of the week, I will go out again on Monday to places like Applebees and Buffalo Wild Wings and a few others. But I have a pretty good feeling that I should be working by the weekend or end of the week!

It's all about the mind frame. Yesterday I had no intentions on working yet so I was really sad. Today, I got in my mind that I need a job like yesterday so now I am ready. I am so sad about not being able to come home for Thanksgiving or watching Sydney in her first play. And I'm sad about not meeting Tony's extended family and seeing Aunt C (yes we were planning to spend a day in Dallas) over Christmas. But I have to do what I can do to support my little family here. And it won't always be like this. I knew it was gonna be hard starting out, it's just hitting the reality that throws me for a loop. But work will be good for me. I love to work. And I know I'm great at the industry I am applying for. Who knows? Maybe I will be a manager before long??

Anyway, I will give you an update as I hear anything.... I am feeling better today. Just needed a day to recoop.......